One year on

Today, it has been exactly one year since I left journalism, and about two weeks to a year since I joined the government. It's been a roller-coaster since Day 1.

Honestly, I did not know what to expect when I took up my current posting starting June 1 last year. It was a fairly different ball game from the one I ever knew. Some aspects of the job met my expectations, others fell far short. But what's really troubling now is that I am serving a government, increasingly under siege, not least by developments in Perak.

The idealist in me is upset, the realist in me knows there is only so much that can be done. One part in me wanna shout: dissolve the Perak assembly, play the underdog, cut losses and try to claw back in the next round - if at all. The other part in me says it ain't gonna happen and may not even be a good thing.

Ok, so much for politics. Do I miss journalism? Yes and no. Yes, I miss the adrenaline rush. I miss asking cheeky questions to newsmakers. But most of all, I miss the writing bit. But no, I can do without the crazy-hectic lifestyle which revolves around the political uncertainty post-March 8. No, I do not want to be woken up in the middle of the night only to be informed that Mas Selamat was caught by our more-efficient-than-Singapore authorities. And NO, getting tear-gassed when you already have to walk miles to cover an illegal rally under the scorching heat is not my idea of fun anymore.

Nowadays, I blog to ease my urge to write. And as I told some friends, I am far too tainted to return to journalism now. And even if I do, I have to steer clear of news reporting, much less write about politics - an area I used to focus on in the past. Although I have never been a member of any political parties, I have been thrust far too deep into the political spectrum to come across as a credible political writer for now.

Perhaps a stint doing movie reviews may help. Although since I became a dad in 2005, I have been to the cinema less than 5 times, the last show being "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa" which I left some 40 minutes into the screening because that's how long my toddler's attention span could take (it was his first movie outing!).

Regrets? Not really. Sure, there were rough patches. Sometimes, you experience certain things which drains the living daylight out of you. Sure, power and greed bring out the best and worst in humanity. Sure,when the chips are down and the stakes are high, you just feel like hanging up your boots and say bye. But it's been one helluva experience so far, one which journalism would never have been able to offer. Yes, I would have gone through it all over again - only this time much wiser than before.

So, there you have it. One year on and life goes on. I wonder what I will blog about this time next year or whether I will still be an aide (my contract is for two years only). But really, I have no time to think about the unknown. There is a job to be done and I need to do it.

PS - Oh yeah, one more thing, I want to wish a dear colleague a happy birthday today. The person's been a great help. Thanks again!